I dropped off my daughter at the airport on Thursday as she returns to Germany, and it was sad and it was hard and it was life and it was beauty seeing the way she adores her brothers 
and she is deliberate about reaching out to them and I love the way she is kind and simple and loving and fun and adventuresome and I love her perspective on life and God and I just am so grateful to have my daughter.
I got teary eyed as I hugged her and prayed for her just before she went through the check point and I turned away and I know she does not like me to cry and the night before I was hugging her and just telling her how much she means to me and I got teary eyed then as well and she said, mom do not cry, and it made me think about how children look to their parents for strength and comfort and protection and they want to know it will all be okay and it will all be all right and so that is what I want to show my kids.
But it is also okay and good to show emotion and I do so in so many settings, letting my children know how much they mean to me, that they are the world to me and now that my daughter is going back to Germany, a world away, until Christmas, I got sad a bit.
My husband tells me that I should not be sad because our daughter is going after her dreams and I know this in my mind but I am a mom and some things you just cannot explain away with rational thoughts and the mind and knowledge. I love to have my daughter near me, that is just how it is.
Yes, of course I am grateful that my daughter is going after her dreams and that she has goals to make a difference in this life, for that is what I talk to all of my children about all the time, to pray about what God has for them in this life, to dream big dreams and to go after those dreams and to live and to go on adventures, and Rachel is doing that and she talks about frolicking in the fields and she talks about going on adventures and reaching out to hurting people and picking 
wildflowers in open spaces and bicycle riding on cobblestone streets and sipping cappuccinos in cafes and I just miss doing all of those things with her when she is gone.
I understand you so well. I had to leave my parents to follow my husband but that hurts me so bad. Today, I dropped my mom and my bro at the airport coz they had to return to my country, one part of me wanted to leave with them. And i saw my husband in our car waiting for me.
I just got moved to tears by picturing you and Rachel saying good-bye. It is so hard to let go of our daughters, especially our oldest. You are a wonderful Mom, and you have given Rachel such valuable life skills to want to help hurting people, ride her bike in open spaces, and appreciate all the wild flowers that come her way. Be grateful that it is you doing the crying as it was not that many years ago, a little blonde headed 1st grader would not let her mom out of her sight on the first day of school!
Judi- Ah, oh my goodness, you are so right! And you were right there seeing this blonde little 6-year-old not want to leave my sight and now look at her! You and I have shared this journey together and I am thankful to have you in my life! Thank you for your ongoing support all these years!
Only if you know Rachel can one understand the depth of pain that her leaving creates.
This is very beautiful sharing all the feelings that a mom goes thru when she gives her child wings to grow into a self assured young woman.
Her insight letting you know she needs you to be strong must have been hard.
Beautifully written.
Hi Ma- yes indeed- you need to know Rachel to know how I feel and I bet so many other moms feel that way about their kids leaving. We want that yet it is hard and it is life. Rachel is incredibly strong and wonderful and she misses home deeply-which makes our time together that much more sweet- sometimes bittersweet because we know it will end. But, then, that makes us appreciate it that much more!