One came as a hippie, another as a pirate, still another as Willy Wonka. Then there were the three cowboys. Make that, cowgirls. There was the man with the cape – let’s call him the caped crusader. Still another came in a mask that has been in his family all his life.
About 15 in all for a fun filled Halloween night of trick-or-treating.
But these high school students and leaders were not in it for the candy.
Instead when they approached doors in the Tualatin neighborhood near church, they asked for mac and cheese. Or tuna fish. Or canned beans or corn or fruit cocktail or Campbells soup.
High School Ministry Youth Pastor Branden Campbell dubbed the evening Trick- or-Treat-for-Canned Food.
Last year, he’d done something similar with students from the Spokane church where he was youth pastor, and decided he wanted to get kids here reaching out as well. On a night traditionally all about what you can get, not what you can give.
“It was hilarious. You say ‘Trick or canned food’ – or Mac and Cheese and Tuna Fish,’ and you’d get a funny look at first,” Branden says. “Most did not listen and they’d put candy in our bags and we would stop them and we’d say ‘No we are collecting food for the Tualatin Food bank.”
They were collecting items for the Tualatin School House Pantry. With the economy in the shape it is in, Branden found out that the local food collection agency was in need. Rolling Hills partners with this local food bank, whose mission is to provide emergency food to those in need, to help eliminate hunger.
After an hour and a half of trick-or-treating for food staples, students and leaders collected 650 pounds of food.
Branden’s passion is outreach.
“That is the mission of Jesus. Look at who He came to reach out to. The prostitutes, the sinners, the broken hearted.”
Plus, Branden notes, “Outreach gets the focus of kids off of Planet Me. I think that the message of Jesus is selflessonly something we should do but who we are.”
----------------
For more information on the Tualatin School House Pantry, visit : www.schoolhousepantry.org or www.rollinghills.org/tualatin-school-house-pantry2
>
Monday, November 17, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Musing on Gratitude and True Faith. . .
I had lunch with my good friend Kristi from Rolling Hills today at Manzana's (to celebrate her 21st - ha ha - birthday) - we spoke of gratitude and how you can build thankfulness into our kids' lives - too many of our children have this attitude of I deserve it all and why can I not have that new I-Pod and well they have it all.How do we teach kids to live selfless lives that are not about them all the time? How do we teach values?
One thought is that parents need to live values that they talk about. Delayed gratification when it comes to things we want/need. Do we buy things as parents whenever we want. . .
As for kids, they get new cars and do not pay for gas or insurance at age 16. She mentioned how some kids then say their parents are stingy and I think - Oh, my. Here, parents are trying to teach their kids values and not giving them everything and they miss the point. My parents did not give me everything and taught me the value of work by making me work. I wanted to live on campus when I was working on my undergrad degree at The University of Portland - but my parents lived 7 miles away and said no - and I did not have the money. So, I worked the next summer and saved up enough to live on the dorms. Did I learn the value of work!
We also talked about building true faith into our children's lives and mused on the fact that so much in today's church / youth ministry is watered down. She mentioned a guy named Paul Washer who is very strong in his belief about the church and how watered down the sermons have become. To tickle ears. . . I need to check it out and evaluate and discern. . . Are we as a church just trying to be liked and loved and are we just trying to sell books and get people inside our church building.
Food for thought. . . always asking questions and wondering...
One thought is that parents need to live values that they talk about. Delayed gratification when it comes to things we want/need. Do we buy things as parents whenever we want. . .
As for kids, they get new cars and do not pay for gas or insurance at age 16. She mentioned how some kids then say their parents are stingy and I think - Oh, my. Here, parents are trying to teach their kids values and not giving them everything and they miss the point. My parents did not give me everything and taught me the value of work by making me work. I wanted to live on campus when I was working on my undergrad degree at The University of Portland - but my parents lived 7 miles away and said no - and I did not have the money. So, I worked the next summer and saved up enough to live on the dorms. Did I learn the value of work!
We also talked about building true faith into our children's lives and mused on the fact that so much in today's church / youth ministry is watered down. She mentioned a guy named Paul Washer who is very strong in his belief about the church and how watered down the sermons have become. To tickle ears. . . I need to check it out and evaluate and discern. . . Are we as a church just trying to be liked and loved and are we just trying to sell books and get people inside our church building.
Food for thought. . . always asking questions and wondering...
Friday, November 7, 2008
You know the election has gotten to your family when...
So, I was listening to my 5-year-old recite his AWANAs verses from the Bible that he is memorizing and he says something like this: "These things are written that those who believe in the Son of God may have life in his name. . . "
Then I ask him where it is found and he says, "Jeff Merkley 3:21" and I laugh [Jeff Merkley just won a tight race to be an Oregon senator against incumbent Gordan Smith].
When I laugh my son then says,
"No, it is found in John McCain 3:21"- and then I know he is joking around. . .
Kids have been hearing all too many ads on TV as the rest of us...
Now if only the lawn signs would come down. I think we all just need to move on. . .
Then I ask him where it is found and he says, "Jeff Merkley 3:21" and I laugh [Jeff Merkley just won a tight race to be an Oregon senator against incumbent Gordan Smith].
When I laugh my son then says,
"No, it is found in John McCain 3:21"- and then I know he is joking around. . .
Kids have been hearing all too many ads on TV as the rest of us...
Now if only the lawn signs would come down. I think we all just need to move on. . .
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
There's No Place like Well-Being
The man’s words just would not leave Kari the nurse’s heart. He did not have a safe place to go for a meal on Sundays.
During the weekdays he had a place, but not on Sundays. No safe place to just be on this most sacred of days.
Kari and her husband Les kept hearing the words and the words turned into a calling.
Open up The Well on Sundays.
Offer a home cooked meal.
Serve the home cooked meal on real china -- not on paper plates. Serve the home cooked meal on a table with a table cloth and warm candles burning and serve up sweet conversation.
Make it safe. With no judgments. Make it like home.
Make it safe. With no judgments. Make it like home.
Call it Well Being.
And they did. And people came.
On the other side of town, another call came. This one for Dan and Sally Waritz.
Well Being needed help. Last minute help.
Would Dan answer the call?
Yes, he would.
”But, I’ll be the first to admit, when they told me who we’d be serving, I was hesitant at first. I will not pretend,” says Dan. “But after the one time, I knew this was where I needed to be.”
Now his community group comes back every month.
Last Sunday, they brought shepherd’s pie. And salad and dessert to share.
Kari and Les love having Rolling Hills Community Church helping http://www.rollinghills.org/ . It has eased the weekly burden, so they can focus on making those who need a safe place on Sundays to feel part of a community.
“For a lot of HIV positive people the church is pointing the finger. Here we do no preaching. We open up our church home to them. We serve them. It allows those living with HIV and AIDS to see that there are others in the church that care. Many of those who come have never stepped inside a church before. Some will then come to Sunday service. It is always in the background,” says Kari.
The people who come are etched into their hearts.
Dan says: “We notice that you see people each time you are here and all of a sudden you notice when they are not here anymore.”
And, you wonder if it is because of their health.
And, you are never ever the same again.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
From the Mouths of Babes. . .Kids and Politics. . .
My son’s political t-shirt arrived in the mail last week, announcing who he wanted for president.
Never mind that he’s 11-years- old and cannot vote for seven years.
He’s worn it every day since its arrival. At least my son makes sure it gets into the washer every day (or two).
At Bingo night at my kids’ school, a few moms came up to me who had seen my son wearing his t-shirt and said, “Good for Micki. That is so bold.”
A recent YouTube entry from Ron Clark Academy illustrates how bold and fun kids can be about politics -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgEGtYWonds
But, I am the chicken. . .
As an adult I have been tamed by the realization that you have to be careful of partisan politics as they have become so divisive. In some cases, friendships have been severed. But, refreshingly, for kids it’s just another day at school.
Like asking which baseball team you are cheering on. It’s a playful nod to your favorite team then you move on.
A friend of mine said she was listening to her 10-year-old son’s conversation with another 10-year-old while carpooling to sports practice.
The conversation went something like this: “So, who are you voting for?”
“McCain,” one says.
“Don’t you want change?” the other says, and this mom friend of mine is listening and just cracking up inside.
The next minute the kids are talking about the upcoming game they will have on the weekend and homework that is due the next day and setting up a time to play after school.
I recently chaperoned a field trip for my fifth grade son and the boys were playing on their Nintendo DS’s and somehow they were messaging each other on these DS’s as to which candidate they wanted.
It was “NoCain” then “NoBama” and my son was hiding from me what he was doing, and when I finally figured it out, I chuckled inside, and just laughed and said, “Make sure it is nice comments.” The kids were fine about it all.
A month ago, my grade school children put a presidential bumper sticker on my husband’s car. The bumper sticker was given to them by their cousins. Neither my husband nor I really wanted it there, but our kids were so excited about it we did not have the heart to take it off.
But, I confess, I park backwards in our driveway so no one can see the bumper sticker. Do I sound like a coward, or what? It goes back to having some negative experiences in my past, so I am avoiding them right now.
However, in high school, I was bold to stand up for a candidate who was not very popular in the polls – or in the school hallways -- but ended up winning the presidency, and years later he is a respected president. Though I got flack for it back then, I stood my ground, along with one other friend of mine.
That is why I find my son’s innocent campaigning for a candidate quite refreshing. Seeing a child stick up for something they believe in is fun, as long as they are aware they need to do it respectfully.
Maybe we could learn from our children’s simplicity, and be able to state our opinions about political topics, then have a play date the following day.
Never mind that he’s 11-years- old and cannot vote for seven years.
He’s worn it every day since its arrival. At least my son makes sure it gets into the washer every day (or two).
At Bingo night at my kids’ school, a few moms came up to me who had seen my son wearing his t-shirt and said, “Good for Micki. That is so bold.”
A recent YouTube entry from Ron Clark Academy illustrates how bold and fun kids can be about politics -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgEGtYWonds
But, I am the chicken. . .
As an adult I have been tamed by the realization that you have to be careful of partisan politics as they have become so divisive. In some cases, friendships have been severed. But, refreshingly, for kids it’s just another day at school.
Like asking which baseball team you are cheering on. It’s a playful nod to your favorite team then you move on.
A friend of mine said she was listening to her 10-year-old son’s conversation with another 10-year-old while carpooling to sports practice.
The conversation went something like this: “So, who are you voting for?”
“McCain,” one says.
“Don’t you want change?” the other says, and this mom friend of mine is listening and just cracking up inside.
The next minute the kids are talking about the upcoming game they will have on the weekend and homework that is due the next day and setting up a time to play after school.
I recently chaperoned a field trip for my fifth grade son and the boys were playing on their Nintendo DS’s and somehow they were messaging each other on these DS’s as to which candidate they wanted.
It was “NoCain” then “NoBama” and my son was hiding from me what he was doing, and when I finally figured it out, I chuckled inside, and just laughed and said, “Make sure it is nice comments.” The kids were fine about it all.
A month ago, my grade school children put a presidential bumper sticker on my husband’s car. The bumper sticker was given to them by their cousins. Neither my husband nor I really wanted it there, but our kids were so excited about it we did not have the heart to take it off.
But, I confess, I park backwards in our driveway so no one can see the bumper sticker. Do I sound like a coward, or what? It goes back to having some negative experiences in my past, so I am avoiding them right now.
However, in high school, I was bold to stand up for a candidate who was not very popular in the polls – or in the school hallways -- but ended up winning the presidency, and years later he is a respected president. Though I got flack for it back then, I stood my ground, along with one other friend of mine.
That is why I find my son’s innocent campaigning for a candidate quite refreshing. Seeing a child stick up for something they believe in is fun, as long as they are aware they need to do it respectfully.
Maybe we could learn from our children’s simplicity, and be able to state our opinions about political topics, then have a play date the following day.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
THE LONG GOOD-BYE
I wanted to savor every moment, every train trip, every sip of cappuccino, every conversation, every new city we explored, every smile with my daughter.
We had two weeks and one day.
Sometimes just thinking about leaving her made me cry.
Sometimes I just sobbed.
But, I would not let her know this. Not yet. It would be too hard.
On her. And on me.
She chose to go to Germany http://www.germany-tourism.de/
for her first year away to college and I was thrilled. This is the country of my birth.
My mother in law had asked me at one point: “Why are you encouraging Rachel to go to Germany. So far away.”
What I encouraged my daughter -- what I encourage all of my children to do – is seek after God’s will in their lives. To find their purpose. Their calling. To risk. To take adventures. To live. To laugh. To question. To live outside the box once in a while. To dream. To journey. To dream.
And for Rachel, going to Germany this first year out of high school was her dream.
The reality of it though for me hit about half way through our two weeks of travelling before I was to drop her off.
We had had our first few days of seeing London, Buckingham Palace, the Grosvenor Hotel, London Bridge, lunches out, Dusseldorf, family gatherings, Koln.
It was amazing, but at times, it felt a bit hectic, and she said something to me: “We haven’t sat down and had torte—German for cake—and coffee,” and I realized as I thought about what matters to Rachel is not seeing every cathedral or church there is in every town.
No, what Rachel remembers—and talked about the most from her visit to Europe a year ago—was times sipping cappuccinos at sidewalk cafes and walking places and bicycle riding around town. That is what meant something to her.
And here, our first few days, though really great, were filled with a bit too much rushing around. Seeing everything there is to see. And, sometimes we didn’t stop for meals or not until really late at night. Or we’d skip lunch. And I could tell Rachel did not like this. Sometimes it was not my fault as we were with relatives, but other times I did have control.
I desperately wanted the memories that Rachel would take from this trip -- from our two weeks together before I dropped her off for Bible college, http://www.bodenseehof.de/view.php -- to be wonderful. Sweet. Happy.
So, I changed directions in my mind. I decided that it was not so much about the finding but it was about the hunt. It was the journey. The very thing I talk about in my life a lot. The journey. The adventure.
As we continued on our two weeks, I made sure that at the first hint of being tired or hungry that we found a place to sit and eat. Or have Italian ice. Or watch the sunset.
We did not see everything in the Dresden area there is to see. We did not see every building or street in Prague that there is so see. Nor in Berlin. Just to be there was of course amazing, but I allowed myself to not be on such an agenda-setting course, where you forget to smell the proverbial roses.
The two weeks were not without a few small glitches –yes, my daughter and I actually had a short moment of impatience between us, which I regret having. Simply put, she was in a bad mood and just tired as there was a certain city – Weimar-that I really wanted to see because my mom told me to- and there was a certain Fortress I really wanted to stop at- Wartburg—again, cause my mom suggested it, but Rachel was tired, and I had really worked so much around my daughter and felt she could give a little as well. We worked through it and said we were sorry to one another and we moved on.
Frankly, I think God may have allowed that short not as pleasant moment between to make it easier to say goodbye.
The long goodbye was not easy.
As we got closer to the time I would have to say goodbye, just thinking about it made me sob. Weep. I wrote a poem about it –the goodbye-
To my daughter SunshineGirl
Sunshine fleeting, captured in the reflection of the sea, but only for a moment -
Then it disappears into the canvas of the sunset.
Sunshine will rise again. It will paint itself in the sunrise
Erasing the dark.
Sunshine will brighten my day, warm my heart. But it is only here for the day. Then night comes.
It appears with the rain in the rainbow, but only for a moment. When you look for it. When it surprises you.
You cannot capture a rainbow. It does not belong to you. It can never be yours. It belongs to God. It was created by the maker of heaven and earth. It lives. It breathes. It brings warmth and life into others.
Sunshine and rainbows fill the earth with tenderness and warmth and love but can never be owned. For a moment, a fleeting moment, sunshine’s rays are captured in a smile, in a look, in a snapshot, and then they go away, but they stay with you. You are never ever the same again.
The warmth. Lingers in your heart and though it is dark, the light stays with you. And you wait to see it again. You wait as long as you need to wait.
And you long for the morning.
- - -
The day came; two weeks and one day into our traveling days, when I had leave Rachel. To say Goodbye.
Bodenseehof in Friedrichshafen. I was able to see her room which had an amazing view of the Bodensee (Lake Constance) and I met the nice people at the school, and we had such a neat time at the lake and then we walked back, and I asked if I should go back into the hall with her and she politely said, “That’s okay Mom,” which was my sign to go out gracefully.
I turned to give her a hug and say a prayer with her and I could feel the tears welling up in me but I did not want to cry in front of her. Not that I cannot show emotion to my daughter but it was time for me to let go. To say good-bye.
I had prepared her 18 and a half years for this and she was ready. Was I?
I needed to be. I said a short prayer and turned around to my waiting cousins who had driven us here.
The Long Good-bye.
In the train I felt like someone was missing. I thought of Amy Grant’s song “Missing you” The words go like this:
“Missing you is just a part of living. Missing you feels like a way of life.”
We had two weeks and one day.
Sometimes just thinking about leaving her made me cry.
Sometimes I just sobbed.
But, I would not let her know this. Not yet. It would be too hard.
On her. And on me.
She chose to go to Germany http://www.germany-tourism.de/
for her first year away to college and I was thrilled. This is the country of my birth.
My mother in law had asked me at one point: “Why are you encouraging Rachel to go to Germany. So far away.”
What I encouraged my daughter -- what I encourage all of my children to do – is seek after God’s will in their lives. To find their purpose. Their calling. To risk. To take adventures. To live. To laugh. To question. To live outside the box once in a while. To dream. To journey. To dream.
And for Rachel, going to Germany this first year out of high school was her dream.
The reality of it though for me hit about half way through our two weeks of travelling before I was to drop her off.
We had had our first few days of seeing London, Buckingham Palace, the Grosvenor Hotel, London Bridge, lunches out, Dusseldorf, family gatherings, Koln.
It was amazing, but at times, it felt a bit hectic, and she said something to me: “We haven’t sat down and had torte—German for cake—and coffee,” and I realized as I thought about what matters to Rachel is not seeing every cathedral or church there is in every town.
No, what Rachel remembers—and talked about the most from her visit to Europe a year ago—was times sipping cappuccinos at sidewalk cafes and walking places and bicycle riding around town. That is what meant something to her.
And here, our first few days, though really great, were filled with a bit too much rushing around. Seeing everything there is to see. And, sometimes we didn’t stop for meals or not until really late at night. Or we’d skip lunch. And I could tell Rachel did not like this. Sometimes it was not my fault as we were with relatives, but other times I did have control.
I desperately wanted the memories that Rachel would take from this trip -- from our two weeks together before I dropped her off for Bible college, http://www.bodenseehof.de/view.php -- to be wonderful. Sweet. Happy.
So, I changed directions in my mind. I decided that it was not so much about the finding but it was about the hunt. It was the journey. The very thing I talk about in my life a lot. The journey. The adventure.
As we continued on our two weeks, I made sure that at the first hint of being tired or hungry that we found a place to sit and eat. Or have Italian ice. Or watch the sunset.
We did not see everything in the Dresden area there is to see. We did not see every building or street in Prague that there is so see. Nor in Berlin. Just to be there was of course amazing, but I allowed myself to not be on such an agenda-setting course, where you forget to smell the proverbial roses.
The two weeks were not without a few small glitches –yes, my daughter and I actually had a short moment of impatience between us, which I regret having. Simply put, she was in a bad mood and just tired as there was a certain city – Weimar-that I really wanted to see because my mom told me to- and there was a certain Fortress I really wanted to stop at- Wartburg—again, cause my mom suggested it, but Rachel was tired, and I had really worked so much around my daughter and felt she could give a little as well. We worked through it and said we were sorry to one another and we moved on.
Frankly, I think God may have allowed that short not as pleasant moment between to make it easier to say goodbye.
The long goodbye was not easy.
As we got closer to the time I would have to say goodbye, just thinking about it made me sob. Weep. I wrote a poem about it –the goodbye-
To my daughter SunshineGirl
Sunshine fleeting, captured in the reflection of the sea, but only for a moment -
Then it disappears into the canvas of the sunset.
Sunshine will rise again. It will paint itself in the sunrise
Erasing the dark.
Sunshine will brighten my day, warm my heart. But it is only here for the day. Then night comes.
It appears with the rain in the rainbow, but only for a moment. When you look for it. When it surprises you.
You cannot capture a rainbow. It does not belong to you. It can never be yours. It belongs to God. It was created by the maker of heaven and earth. It lives. It breathes. It brings warmth and life into others.
Sunshine and rainbows fill the earth with tenderness and warmth and love but can never be owned. For a moment, a fleeting moment, sunshine’s rays are captured in a smile, in a look, in a snapshot, and then they go away, but they stay with you. You are never ever the same again.
The warmth. Lingers in your heart and though it is dark, the light stays with you. And you wait to see it again. You wait as long as you need to wait.
And you long for the morning.
- - -
The day came; two weeks and one day into our traveling days, when I had leave Rachel. To say Goodbye.
Bodenseehof in Friedrichshafen. I was able to see her room which had an amazing view of the Bodensee (Lake Constance) and I met the nice people at the school, and we had such a neat time at the lake and then we walked back, and I asked if I should go back into the hall with her and she politely said, “That’s okay Mom,” which was my sign to go out gracefully.
I turned to give her a hug and say a prayer with her and I could feel the tears welling up in me but I did not want to cry in front of her. Not that I cannot show emotion to my daughter but it was time for me to let go. To say good-bye.
I had prepared her 18 and a half years for this and she was ready. Was I?
I needed to be. I said a short prayer and turned around to my waiting cousins who had driven us here.
The Long Good-bye.
In the train I felt like someone was missing. I thought of Amy Grant’s song “Missing you” The words go like this:
“Missing you is just a part of living. Missing you feels like a way of life.”
Monday, October 13, 2008
TAKING FIRST CHILD TO COLLEGE. . .
Today I am on a plane to Germany to take my daughter to herfirst year of college.
(I wrote about it for my 9-11-08 Real-Life Mom column published monthly in the SW Weekly section of The Oregonian newspaper, also found online http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/10/first_child_leaving_the_nest_l.html
It is bittersweet. Germany is one of my favorite places, and not just because I was born there. I love the German lifestyle of walking and riding bicyclesto places, and I am especially happy that Rachel chose Bible college forher first year away. http://www.bodenseehof.de/view.php
That is the sweet part.
But I find myself a bit lost as my first child leaves the nest,even if that is not permanent — yet. Part of the reason may be that she is my firstborn and part mayhave to do with her being my only daughter, in a family with four sons.
And perhaps part of the reason has to do with my identity as a mother. Ihave been a mom for almost two decades. I have been needed — and by mydaughter’s side — for almost half my life. My daughter and I are very close. I have coached her sportsteams and volunteered in her classrooms and led her high school Biblestudy and summer church camps. We’ve gone on mission trips and summerroad trips together.
Now she won’t need me as much. I know that is not entirely true, as she will still need me in different ways, but that is how I will feel on that long flight home, which I will not think about right now.
I have begun to realize — though it is hard to admit — that I have a tendency to become emotionally dependent upon my children,especially my daughter. I have found myself somewhat insecure at times unless my kidsare with me — again, especially my daughter. I am not talking about emotional dependency in the clinical sense, in which people hold others back in order to be needed.
And I am not talking about emotional dependency in the “living through mychild” kind of way, though that is an issue with some parents. I am talking about my basic emotional attachment to my children.
I suppose part of it is that I find fulfillment and enjoyment inbeing a mom. But you begin realizing as your children grow that they donot need you as much. And moving our kids toward independence is what we strive for from the day they leave the womb.
We celebrate every step towardindependence: The first day without diapers. The first time riding abicycle without training wheels. The first day of school. (It is wild tothink that my firstborn starts college as my lastborn startskindergarten. How’s that for coming full circle?) So, bittersweet is where I’m at. But is that not whatparenting is all about? The good with the tough; the blessings with thechallenges; the years together, the times to say goodbye.
Yes, it will be hard leaving my daughter, but sweet coming home tofour sons who still need me.
(I wrote about it for my 9-11-08 Real-Life Mom column published monthly in the SW Weekly section of The Oregonian newspaper, also found online http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/10/first_child_leaving_the_nest_l.html
It is bittersweet. Germany is one of my favorite places, and not just because I was born there. I love the German lifestyle of walking and riding bicyclesto places, and I am especially happy that Rachel chose Bible college forher first year away. http://www.bodenseehof.de/view.php
That is the sweet part.
But I find myself a bit lost as my first child leaves the nest,even if that is not permanent — yet. Part of the reason may be that she is my firstborn and part mayhave to do with her being my only daughter, in a family with four sons.
And perhaps part of the reason has to do with my identity as a mother. Ihave been a mom for almost two decades. I have been needed — and by mydaughter’s side — for almost half my life. My daughter and I are very close. I have coached her sportsteams and volunteered in her classrooms and led her high school Biblestudy and summer church camps. We’ve gone on mission trips and summerroad trips together.
Now she won’t need me as much. I know that is not entirely true, as she will still need me in different ways, but that is how I will feel on that long flight home, which I will not think about right now.
I have begun to realize — though it is hard to admit — that I have a tendency to become emotionally dependent upon my children,especially my daughter. I have found myself somewhat insecure at times unless my kidsare with me — again, especially my daughter. I am not talking about emotional dependency in the clinical sense, in which people hold others back in order to be needed.
And I am not talking about emotional dependency in the “living through mychild” kind of way, though that is an issue with some parents. I am talking about my basic emotional attachment to my children.
I suppose part of it is that I find fulfillment and enjoyment inbeing a mom. But you begin realizing as your children grow that they donot need you as much. And moving our kids toward independence is what we strive for from the day they leave the womb.
We celebrate every step towardindependence: The first day without diapers. The first time riding abicycle without training wheels. The first day of school. (It is wild tothink that my firstborn starts college as my lastborn startskindergarten. How’s that for coming full circle?) So, bittersweet is where I’m at. But is that not whatparenting is all about? The good with the tough; the blessings with thechallenges; the years together, the times to say goodbye.
Yes, it will be hard leaving my daughter, but sweet coming home tofour sons who still need me.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Do not let students who were hit walking to school stop you from walking or bicycling places...
Two students in Salem Oregon got hit yesterday in a crosswalk walking to school – on their first day of school. They were doing the right thing, crossing at a crosswalk designated for drivers to stop. http://www.statesmanjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080904/NEWS/809040342/1001
The driver did not stop. He was only cited for failing to stop at a crosswalk, not for hitting two children.
It was the first day back for students and perhaps drivers are not looking for students, but in general, it shows how we as an American society have a ways to go when it comes to people getting out and walking and bicycle riding places. It is such a rare thing in some communities that drivers do not think: Oh, crosswalk, beware of pedestrians.
Instead, drivers are in a hurry to make it to their next destination.
Part of the issue is that many people who drive frankly never walk or bicycle themselves so they just do not know what it is like out there. In suburbia where I live, it is harder to walk and bicycle anywhere. Sidewalks are missing or simply end. Bike lanes just stop as well.
Even in designated crosswalk areas, you are competing with cars to get across the street when the light blinks walk for you and is green for the cars.
What made me especially sad for the two Salem students hit by the car on their way to school, is their comment afterwards: “We are going to get a ride tomorrow to school. From now on.”
I do not blame them in a way, but really, instead, I wish more people would take up walking and bicycle riding to school – and to other places – so that it is not such an unusual site to see people walking. The more people that walk, the more others will watch out for them, the more cautious people will be.
I admire the yearly Walk To School Day, which encourages entire school communities to walk to school. http://www.walktoschool.org/
There is strength in numbers for sure. I organized a couple of these events for my children’s school at Cedar Oak Park in West Linn a few years ago, and we had a great time. It was fun to watch cars do a double take when they saw 100 students cross Highway 43.
And, one school district in Nevada is encouraging parents to walk their kids to school not just once a year but every day. http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/aug/28/district-asks-parents-park-walk-students-school/
Congestion around schools is incredibly stressful in many school districts, including this one in Nevada, which prompted this school to take action. The specific program is a first step in getting kids to walk to school; in this case, it has parents parking in a location away from the school then walking the rest of the way with their kids to school. Great start.
I would take it a step farther. Walk all the way to school with your child. Yes, it takes time, but the rewards are incredible. Fresh air. Exercise. Time with your child. Conversation.
Walking with your children – or bicycling with them – promotes exercise and togetherness, plus it saves the planet and gas money.
I find it quite interesting how school buses pick up kids who live so close to school. I think kids who live a half mile away from school should walk or bicycle. Also, school buses stop every third or fourth house sometimes in certain districts. My sister has told me about this in her district.
Let the kid walk to a neighbor’s house to catch the bus. Some districts, due to higher fuel prices are doing just this. California has eliminated school buses for thousands of children. Washington state and elsewhere are consolidating school bus stops. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/08/20/walking.to.school.ap/
In Germany, kids always walk or ride their bicycles to school. There is no school bus and parents do not tend to drive. It is a whole different way of looking at transportation. In American suburbs, it will take time to get people to think about walking and bicycling places; it will take grass roots efforts.
I hope the situation in Salem will not hinder but instead encourage more students to walk or bicycle to school. Yet, as these students found out, even at a crosswalk, you still have to be careful. That is what I teach my kids as they begin to venture out on their own, walking or bicycling places. Even when you have the right-of-way, still watch out.
But do not give up. Instead, ask others to join you, including your parents.
The driver did not stop. He was only cited for failing to stop at a crosswalk, not for hitting two children.
It was the first day back for students and perhaps drivers are not looking for students, but in general, it shows how we as an American society have a ways to go when it comes to people getting out and walking and bicycle riding places. It is such a rare thing in some communities that drivers do not think: Oh, crosswalk, beware of pedestrians.
Instead, drivers are in a hurry to make it to their next destination.
Part of the issue is that many people who drive frankly never walk or bicycle themselves so they just do not know what it is like out there. In suburbia where I live, it is harder to walk and bicycle anywhere. Sidewalks are missing or simply end. Bike lanes just stop as well.
Even in designated crosswalk areas, you are competing with cars to get across the street when the light blinks walk for you and is green for the cars.
What made me especially sad for the two Salem students hit by the car on their way to school, is their comment afterwards: “We are going to get a ride tomorrow to school. From now on.”
I do not blame them in a way, but really, instead, I wish more people would take up walking and bicycle riding to school – and to other places – so that it is not such an unusual site to see people walking. The more people that walk, the more others will watch out for them, the more cautious people will be.
I admire the yearly Walk To School Day, which encourages entire school communities to walk to school. http://www.walktoschool.org/
There is strength in numbers for sure. I organized a couple of these events for my children’s school at Cedar Oak Park in West Linn a few years ago, and we had a great time. It was fun to watch cars do a double take when they saw 100 students cross Highway 43.
And, one school district in Nevada is encouraging parents to walk their kids to school not just once a year but every day. http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/aug/28/district-asks-parents-park-walk-students-school/
Congestion around schools is incredibly stressful in many school districts, including this one in Nevada, which prompted this school to take action. The specific program is a first step in getting kids to walk to school; in this case, it has parents parking in a location away from the school then walking the rest of the way with their kids to school. Great start.
I would take it a step farther. Walk all the way to school with your child. Yes, it takes time, but the rewards are incredible. Fresh air. Exercise. Time with your child. Conversation.
Walking with your children – or bicycling with them – promotes exercise and togetherness, plus it saves the planet and gas money.
I find it quite interesting how school buses pick up kids who live so close to school. I think kids who live a half mile away from school should walk or bicycle. Also, school buses stop every third or fourth house sometimes in certain districts. My sister has told me about this in her district.
Let the kid walk to a neighbor’s house to catch the bus. Some districts, due to higher fuel prices are doing just this. California has eliminated school buses for thousands of children. Washington state and elsewhere are consolidating school bus stops. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/08/20/walking.to.school.ap/
In Germany, kids always walk or ride their bicycles to school. There is no school bus and parents do not tend to drive. It is a whole different way of looking at transportation. In American suburbs, it will take time to get people to think about walking and bicycling places; it will take grass roots efforts.
I hope the situation in Salem will not hinder but instead encourage more students to walk or bicycle to school. Yet, as these students found out, even at a crosswalk, you still have to be careful. That is what I teach my kids as they begin to venture out on their own, walking or bicycling places. Even when you have the right-of-way, still watch out.
But do not give up. Instead, ask others to join you, including your parents.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Woman Vice President Candidate gets People talking about Juggling Motherhood and Family Life
Tonight, Alaskan governor and Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave her speech at the Republican National Convention. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94258995
She was sharp, she was funny, she was smart, she had things to say. She showed compassion and she has a Downs Syndrome Child whom she adores and is just as proud of as her other four children.
I loved how she started the speech by saying that the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is lip stick. She talked about all she did as governor - the biggest things related to taking on big government and that was impressive.
The luxury jet owned by the state of Alaska she sold on e-bay for 2.1 million dollars! Got to love that one.
Wow. As governor, she got rid of the personal driver and personal chef, all luxuries she could have taken advantage of as governor of Alaska. These were examples of how she nixed the wasteful government spending and saved hard working tax payers half a billion dollars.
The talk has been so much about how this woman can juggle being a mom of five children and vice president at the same time. She has already proven herself.
And, as former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani said just prior to Palin speaking, we would never question a male politician's ability to lead based upon the number of children he has. Interesting thoughts. I venture to add to that- a democratic woman. . . just asking...
As a working mother of five myself multitasking is par for the course. I readily admit, and have written about, that it is never easy to juggle, and sometimes you cannot have it all. Something does give and a supportive family helps. It is Palin's choice to work and we should never question her ability to ability to work based upon the number of children she has. Nor, her ability to parent based upon her job.
Republican or democrat aside, give Sarah Palin a chance to show what she knows. And what she can do.
She was sharp, she was funny, she was smart, she had things to say. She showed compassion and she has a Downs Syndrome Child whom she adores and is just as proud of as her other four children.
I loved how she started the speech by saying that the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is lip stick. She talked about all she did as governor - the biggest things related to taking on big government and that was impressive.
The luxury jet owned by the state of Alaska she sold on e-bay for 2.1 million dollars! Got to love that one.
Wow. As governor, she got rid of the personal driver and personal chef, all luxuries she could have taken advantage of as governor of Alaska. These were examples of how she nixed the wasteful government spending and saved hard working tax payers half a billion dollars.
The talk has been so much about how this woman can juggle being a mom of five children and vice president at the same time. She has already proven herself.
And, as former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani said just prior to Palin speaking, we would never question a male politician's ability to lead based upon the number of children he has. Interesting thoughts. I venture to add to that- a democratic woman. . . just asking...
As a working mother of five myself multitasking is par for the course. I readily admit, and have written about, that it is never easy to juggle, and sometimes you cannot have it all. Something does give and a supportive family helps. It is Palin's choice to work and we should never question her ability to ability to work based upon the number of children she has. Nor, her ability to parent based upon her job.
Republican or democrat aside, give Sarah Palin a chance to show what she knows. And what she can do.
BACK TO SCHOOL. . . kindergartener is my last child
I told my 5-year-old who started kindergarten today that he could not grow up so quickly.
He says, "I have to."
He is my youngest. I am sad. I am happy. I am reflective. I am conflicted.
On the one hand, I will have a full 17 and a half hours a week to myself... What will I do with myself. I have not had that much time to myself since my second oldest, now 17, started kindergarten 12 years ago. I will have quiet. Time to be still. To work in peace. Uninterrupted.
But, it means change and kids not as dependent on me and my little circle at home being not the same any more.
Back to school. What a fun time. Especially for our youngest in the house. . . I reflect more on this in my Oregonian blog - oregonlive.com KIDDO page WriterMom blog on the following link- http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/09/kindergartner_in_school_means.html
He says, "I have to."
He is my youngest. I am sad. I am happy. I am reflective. I am conflicted.
On the one hand, I will have a full 17 and a half hours a week to myself... What will I do with myself. I have not had that much time to myself since my second oldest, now 17, started kindergarten 12 years ago. I will have quiet. Time to be still. To work in peace. Uninterrupted.
But, it means change and kids not as dependent on me and my little circle at home being not the same any more.
Back to school. What a fun time. Especially for our youngest in the house. . . I reflect more on this in my Oregonian blog - oregonlive.com KIDDO page WriterMom blog on the following link- http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/09/kindergartner_in_school_means.html
Saturday, August 30, 2008
World Meteorite Day in West Linn Oregon
Here is a link to the info and photos of the first annual World Meteorite Day held in West Linn to commemorite what may be West Linn Oregon's largest [literally] claim to fame - Photos included... http://westlinnbook.blogspot.com/2008/08/world-meteorite-day-photos.html
and the link to the city's website regarding Fields Park . . . http://westlinnoregon.gov/parksrec/parks/fields-bridge-park
and the link to the city's website regarding Fields Park . . . http://westlinnoregon.gov/parksrec/parks/fields-bridge-park
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Olympics. . . Michael Phelps honoring Mom
I Love the Olympics. . . I am glued to the TV during these two weeks every two years, alternating summer and winter Olympics. My favorite are the Summer Olympics - this year's in Beijing has been amazing. I say that every time about the Olympics - http://www.nbcolympics.com/swimming/index.html
I love gymnastics especially and was really moved by Nastia's Olympic gold in the women's all around. I still remember the 1972 Olympics watching Olga Korbut -and in 1976, Nadia.
This Olympics as a Mom of four boys, I was particularly touched by Michael Phelps and his winning 8 gold medals in swimming and each time honoring his Mom. His single mom. What a tribute. As mom I love to see children honor their parents and, though many criticize the over - coverage of Phelps, he did win 8 golds, besting Mark Spitz's record of 7 golds in one Olympics. Then, to have Phelps continually thank his mom for all her sacrifice, I was really impressed.
I love gymnastics especially and was really moved by Nastia's Olympic gold in the women's all around. I still remember the 1972 Olympics watching Olga Korbut -and in 1976, Nadia.
This Olympics as a Mom of four boys, I was particularly touched by Michael Phelps and his winning 8 gold medals in swimming and each time honoring his Mom. His single mom. What a tribute. As mom I love to see children honor their parents and, though many criticize the over - coverage of Phelps, he did win 8 golds, besting Mark Spitz's record of 7 golds in one Olympics. Then, to have Phelps continually thank his mom for all her sacrifice, I was really impressed.
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