My daughter left yesterday. 
You’d think I’d get used to it. I don’t.
When my daughter visits from across the ocean, we stop the busy-to-do-lifestyle life. We go to indie coffee shops and on long walks in the neighborhood and make sure we meet with friends. We bake cookies and craft meals together from scratch and make a mess in the kitchen and clean it up together. We don’t mind.
We play LIFE and YAHTZEE and start movies at 11 p.m.
We turn off the Internet and the X-box and the phone, at least we try to.
We talk and we laugh and we hug and we share stories and we look at photos and we watch old home videos.
And laugh some more and reminisce and recall and recollect and remember.
We go to the beach, to the mountains, to the Gorge, to the forest, to the park. We take long strolls through the sand, we cross- country ski, we hike.
We look at old photographs and take new photographs and smile for the photographer.
We invite friends and family and grandparents and cousins and extended family over for dinner and coffee 
and neighborhood walks and long talks. We go out to lunch and we go to the movies and we go to the mall to photobomb with Santa 
.
We sit around the dining room table way longer than usual and watch the youngest brother blowing out candles then lighting them again and we tell him not to but he does it anyway.
The brothers still fight and argue and complain sometimes but it is all okay when my daughter, their sister, is home.
I am not sure why, but it just is.
When my daughter is home, I watch her plop herself down next to her brothers and put her arms around them, and I see her brothers melt into her arms and they put their arms around their sister, randomly, out of the blue. They hug her and bear hug her 
and smile a big smile around her and when they do this I smile a big smile. It is good. 
We slow down, we hug, we embrace, we realize that the ordinary is the extraordinary and we make each moment, a monument.
Because it is.
We celebrate conversation and savor stories and go on special outings and take time to talk and walk and just to be.
We take the time for slowing and sipping and relaxing and baking and cooking and being.
My daughter asks each of her brothers’ questions and listens to their stories and asks follow up questions and makes follow up comments. My daughter takes each of her brothers out on individual outings to talk with them and find out their dreams and gives them ideas and suggestions 
without preaching at them.
My daughter pops in on her brothers’ rooms when they are hanging out or putting clothes away or playing x-box and somehow she gets them to hang with her. When they are on the couches doing their homework, she nestles in next to them and they let her.
My daughter tells her brothers she loves them and that they are special and that they mean a lot to her and that they are the 
world to her and that family is the most important thing and that God loves them. My daughter comes home for Christmas break for them; she comes home on their special birthdays for them. She spends thousands of Euros that she does not have for plane tickets to visit them. She buys them birthday presents and Christmas presents with specific thoughts as to what they would like and she makes them presents and photo calendars that are so special to her middle school brother that he puts it on his wall. He never puts anything on his wall, except maybe that poster of that car.
We slow down when my daughter is home. We hang out. We just plop down on the couch and talk and laugh and share and watch movies. We just “are.”
Because we know that my daughter will only be home for a short period of time. We know that our time with my daughter, my sons’ sister is limited. We know that the time with her will come to an end and we will have to say good-bye. For now.
And what gets us through is knowing we will see her again soon.
We are Mary around my daughter when she is home. We do not even know who Martha is in our family when my daughter is home. (Luke 10: 38-42)
I know that I have to be Martha sometime again, but not while my daughter is home. I never ever want to forget who Mary is, even when my daughter is not home.
To have time for my kids, to make time for my kids, and for others. There is no such thing as hurried time. Or rushed time. Or drive-through time. Kids know it, your family knows it, your friends know it, you know it.
May I be Mary to all people, knowing that time together, just being present, is what matters. May I treat all of my people, my family, my friends, as if they are only here a short time. Because, maybe they are. Maybe I am. 
Just as I know my daughter is.
[UPDATE: An hour after publishing this blog, Chris and I were hit by an SUV and I was unconscious for 30 minutes. We were rushed to the hospital and are on a long road to recovery. A month after our accident I penned this: http://www.corneliaseigneur.com/on-the-accident-and-angels-and-the-rest-of-my-life/]
Your blog about your family’s awesome time with your daughter being written just hours before the accident ~ an awesome God-incident!! A real-life reminder to all of us to say NOW / TODAY / THIS MINUTE what we need/want to say to our family and friends because life here on Earth truly is fleeting!! Thankful that you and Chris are on the mend!! Prayers will be with you and your family as you continue healing.
Thank you Becky! Your ongoing support of my writing encourages me so much!!
Your blog about your family’s awesome time with your daughter being written just hours before the accident ~ an awesome God-incident!! A real-life reminder to all of us to say NOW / TODAY / THIS MINUTE what we need/want to say to our family and friends because life here on Earth truly is fleeting!! Thankful that you and Chris are on the mend!! Prayers will be with you and your family as you continue healing.
God Bless you and your family. And thank you for treating everyone, including police officers with the compassion that Christ showed
God Bless you and your family. And thank you for treating everyone, including police officers with the compassion that Christ showed
Nellie, I just heard about your accident and am trying to get caught up on FB when I read this incredible blog. I will add my prayers, knowing that you both will have a full recovery. Support and love. – Midge
Nellie, I just heard about your accident and am trying to get caught up on FB when I read this incredible blog. I will add my prayers, knowing that you both will have a full recovery. Support and love. – Midge
Wonderful blog Cornelia. I just read about your accident on FB. So sorry, know that I am praying for you both, as well as for your kids. xoxo
Wonderful blog Cornelia. I just read about your accident on FB. So sorry, know that I am praying for you both, as well as for your kids. xoxo
Wonderful story, Cornelia, beautiful pictures! Now, all you need to do, is for you and Chris to recover and heal from the trauma and the painful injuries suffered from this horrible accident. Both you and Chris will with God’s help and blessing. We love you and pray for you, Mama and Daddy
Danke Daddy- that means a lot. . .yes, God will prayerfully help us heal from this accident. We are grateful for each new day and for our wonderful family — you and Mama for one! — and dear friends in our lives.
Thank you for writing this! I like the Mary/Martha story. I can do my share of being both. But I definitely miss out when in Martha mode!
Thank you for writing this! I like the Mary/Martha story. I can do my share of being both. But I definitely miss out when in Martha mode!
Relationship with God and relationship with each other is what makes life worth living. You so get that!!!! We learn to love deeper, we learn to give forgiveness and grace through spending quality time with each other. We laugh, we cry, we feel feelings both good and bad when we are with those we love. We learn humility, submission and obedience through our own personal relationship with our Heavenly Father to be lived out in relationship with those we love and have a hard time loving because they have hurt us.
It is so clear Cornelia that next to God your family is the nearest and dearest to your heart.
May 2015 give you more and more family moments to cultivate the love you have for each one of them. Hold on to those loving memories/feelings and never let them go because they are a priceless gift to you from God 🙂
Your love is deep and wide for your family ~
Relationship with God and relationship with each other is what makes life worth living. You so get that!!!! We learn to love deeper, we learn to give forgiveness and grace through spending quality time with each other. We laugh, we cry, we feel feelings both good and bad when we are with those we love. We learn humility, submission and obedience through our own personal relationship with our Heavenly Father to be lived out in relationship with those we love and have a hard time loving because they have hurt us.
It is so clear Cornelia that next to God your family is the nearest and dearest to your heart.
May 2015 give you more and more family moments to cultivate the love you have for each one of them. Hold on to those loving memories/feelings and never let them go because they are a priceless gift to you from God 🙂
Your love is deep and wide for your family ~
We love you mommy! And love being home with you! We are praying for you and dad!
We love you mommy! And love being home with you! We are praying for you and dad!
Thank you so much sweet daughter, who inspired this post in the first place!