The other day, my 17-year-old son Mickael Josef told me that he is picking up his friend Will for soccer practice. His friend lives two and a half miles away.
Soccer practice was a half a mile away.
It did not make sense to me that he would drive that far to pick up a friend, especially when he was already running late.
So I questioned my son’s decision. “Why would you do that, driving two and a half miles when soccer practice is a half a mile away? Can’t he find his own ride from someone who lives closer? It seems impractical,” I complained.
My son looked at me and said that his friend had helped him a lot in the past and had given him rides before and that he wanted to help his friend.
Wow. Micki was so right.
Here I talk to my kids about reaching out and making a difference in the world and being Christ to others and loving others and helping people in times of need, and yet when a very specific situation came up, I get all practical on my kid. What kind of example am I being?
My husband quietly said to me something about it as I realized my mistake. I felt like a heel.
I apologized to my son as he bolted out the door to pick up his friend to go to soccer. Late, but helping out a friend.
Later, when my son got home, I wanted to be more deliberate about saying sorry and acknowledging my mistake.
I asked Micki if we could talk and we moved into a quiet place.
“Micki, you are so right about offering to give Will a ride to soccer tonight. I am so sorry for getting on your case about reaching out to him. Will has helped you out so many times and here I question your kind action. Can you please forgive me?”
He quickly said of course that it’s no problem. Kids are so good about that.
As I think of this story related to my parenting philosophy I think of how I believe we need to teach our kids to reach out. Right here, right now.
And to remind them– and most likely ourselves– that the opportunity for reaching out is often right in front of us. And, it is often not convenient.
Sure, there are times when we go to Africa or India or help across the country or give online to mission organizations. But, so much of serving is helping a neighbor carry in their groceries, stopping by when a car is pulled over to see what is wrong, making a meal for someone on bed rest, visiting a grandparent in the hospital, or giving a friend a ride to soccer practice. Even when it’s out of the way. Even when it’s inconvenient.
So, dear friends, what does your family believe about helping others. Do you talk about this idea with your kids? What are the practical ways you can encourage your kids to make a difference in the lives of other people. Are there kids at school they could help? A neighbor? What kinds of needs are right in front of you and your family?
Day 1 Finding Your Parenting Philosophy: Our family helps others.
I enjoyed this post and am thankful for your honesty. Blessings