Gracie came over last night to see my daughter who is home from Germany. Gracie is the neighborhood Baker’s daughter who grew up with my kids and was like a second daughter to me. She came to our Easter egg hunts over the years as well as my kids’ birthday parties and we celebrated her birthdays with her. She came on adventures with us and she babysat my kids and hung out with them while I wrote or taught classes. I attended Gracie’s concerts over the years and she and her mom came to my daughter’s wedding.
We also experienced a loss together when her beloved brother died in a tragic car crash before his high school graduation. Gracie was a loyal sister to her brothers and is a loyal daughter to her parents. Family and friends are everything to her.
I posted a picture on Facebook of her, my daughter, my son and me on Facebook from 10 years ago. She was 17, my daughter 16 and my son 8. She remembers exactly where we were in the photograph.
“We were in your side yard. You were always taking pictures. I have more pictures from you from my growing up years, and you are the reason I take so many photos now.”
As we shared last night and reminisced, I told her how astounded I was how she remembered stories with such vivid details.
“Your family was so important to me growing up. It takes a village to raise kids. You gave me some things my parents didn’t give me, my coaches gave me things, you were always loving.”
On the Facebook picture of Gracie that I posted, she commented:
“I wouldn’t be who I am today without you Cornelia. You and your family have always been such a huge part of my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love you. Thanks for always taking pictures no matter what’s going on around us.”
You see, when Gracie said it took a village and that our family impacted her life while she was growing up, I did not realize it at the time. It is just something we did — including neighborhood kids in the life of our family. Sometimes we do things as parents, as families, and only find out later the impact our actions and attitudes have had on others.
I remember my husband’s sisters, Yvette and Sue, talking about the neighbor kids hanging out at their house growing up, and how much they liked being around their mom, my mother-in-law now. It was so meaningful, hearing the stories from their days in the suburbs in upstate New York. Listening to their stories impacted me as a parent.
So, as I muse on my ideas and thoughts and beliefs about what I believe about parenting and raising kids and family life during this 31 Days of Writing with the Blogging Community, I realize that this is one of my parenting philosophies: Building a village. Building into the lives of neighbor kids and finding others to build into the lives of your kids.
And then telling those people, just as Gracie did with me last night.
Our children are watching us as parents, when we include neighbor kids in our lives. When we invite them over for spontaneous meals and planned Easter Egg hunts. When we include them in birthday parties and family outings. It is huge. It will be a lifelong memory.
Which neighborhood kids in addition to your own children are you building your life into? Who has built into the lives of your kids?
Building a Welcoming Neighborhood Community for our family and surrounding friends is an important part of our parenting philosophy. Is it part of yours?
It takes a village.
[This is My Second Musing on Finding Your Parenting Philosophy in the #Write31Days series.]
Beautiful post. Beautiful new site!
Jody- thank you so much for your comment and for your support and for reading! And, ya, my new website- I will announce it once it all gets finalized- for now, a “soft opening” – thanks for noticing!! Love ya-