The Other day, I came home too late from a meeting and my teenage twins were still up and one of their friends was over and they were playing x-box in our living room and it was really late and I was really tired and after my standard greeting of “Hello, how are you doing, good to see you, Will,” I commented on how late it was and wondered what were they still doing up.
Great greeting huh?
Why were those critical thoughts some of the first words out of my mouth? I felt so badly after this. I do not want to do this as a parent. I want to be a good mom, a mom who welcomes people into our home. My teenage twins love it when they have friends over and I love it when they have friends over. I want our house to be the house where friends congregate. I want our home to be the place where kids are always welcome and where kids always feel like they belong and where kids can go to my fridge and open it up and know that it is okay. It’s that familiar.
My friend Jeanie’s mom’s house, Barb and Bob Higinbotham modeled that gift of the welcome. The art of hospitality.
Mrs. Higinbotham was a warm presence and thinking of her brings fond memories for me of my days in Corvallis as a first, second and third grader at Garfield School in Corvallis during the years when my dad taught at Oregon State University. When I visited Jeanie’s house after school, her mom had warm butter cookies waiting for us. I loved how Mrs. Higs would greet us at the door when we walked into her house and she offered us those cookies on the plate on the little family room table right next to the kitchen.
“But, first, please go wash your hands,” she would say to us.
And after we washed our hands, we would return and see two small plates next to the large plate of butter cookies and those small plates were for us to put our individual cookies onto. And, Mrs. Higs would sit next to us and ask us about our day. I felt like Mrs. Higs had all the time in the world for me.
I want my home like that. Like Mr. and Mrs. Higinbotham’s house. Where you never felt like you outstayed your welcome, where you always knew you were not bothering them, where they took you in and were relaxed when you were there.
Today was on of those days. To show hospitality. Where I literally got nothing else done but feed my high school kids and their friends’ crepes with whipping cream and Nutella and fresh berries and lemons and powder sugar for breakfast, and then later my junior high kid and three friends and a mom crepes with the same toppings. And ask them questions on my deck, to see how their summer is going and to let them know I care.
And then clean up between both sets of folks in our home.
And, I loved every minute of it. When I am not thinking about all I have to get done. But, heck, since I’m off Facebook (except posting these daily blog posts), I’m saving 81 minutes a day.
But, really, when it comes to hospitality, you don’t count minutes, but instead you count moments and smiles and life long memories. And what really matters.
People.
And making them feel like they matter.
Just as Mrs. Higinbotham lived out.
Fellow Moms and Dads, dear friends, invite kids into your home. Make them feel welcome. Show Hospitality.
—————————————————- “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou
Love the Maya Anjelou quote. It’s so true. Thanks for the reminder.
Love the Maya Anjelou quote. It’s so true. Thanks for the reminder.
Interesting my church is doing a message series on Hospitality.
Most people REALLY don’t want to be bothered with outsiders unless they’re
‘family’. I’ve noticed ‘family’ can be a religion.