One of my twins was on the couch after school yesterday, playing some game on his phone.
Whenever my kids are on their phones, I get all uptight and worried that they are losing brain mass and not being productive and there is work to be done around the house, especially, if they have so much time 
on their hands to be on their phones playing silly games. Indeed, I could always use their help around the house. Plus, I started thinking, maybe they could have taken that AP English class after all, if they have so much time on their hands.
It seems like whenever school starts, the kids get so busy doing homework and doing sports and going to classes and going to youth group and being away from here with all of the commitments that come with fall, that they just do not have time to help around the house as much.
But, if my kid has time to be on his phone, surely he has time to help around the house.
So, I said to my him, “Hey Micki, don’t you have homework to do. And, if you have time to be on your phone, maybe you have time to help out around here. These dishes could be loaded and the floor, well it needs to be swept. And there’s vacuuming.”
And, I get all list-making with him, as I feel overwhelmed sometimes trying to get everything around the house done.
But, instead of jumping up and getting off of his phone to help his poor mom, my 17-year-old son casually looks up at me and says to me:
“I’m chilling. Mom, can I just chill for a bit?”
Chilling. Yep, that’s what he was doing and yep, you can, I thought and then said it to him.
Cause, sometimes you just need time to just chill.
Maybe enjoying a little down time on his phone chillin’ may not be my kind of down time, but it was for him.
I started thinking that at least he is in our community area, our living room, chilling and not hiding away in his bedroom. I need to reward that fact, that he’s just hanging with us “chillin’” which is important to me.
Later, my other twin was just “chillin’” as well — He had fallen asleep on the couch.
It’s important to make sure our kids feel free to have down time in our home, in the community places of our houses, like our living rooms and family rooms. If we bug them too much to work and constantly be productive, then they will take to “chillin’” only in their bedrooms away from the rest of the family.
So, here’s to allowing our kids time to “chill.”
The work will always be there, but the kids will not.
Cornelia, I’ve been enjoying exploring your space here this morning! Thanks for stopping by my 31 days post. This story speaks to me today, as last night I had some similar thoughts. My 16 year old didn’t get in until 9:30 pm. He came over to the couch and sat down beside me, shoulder to shoulder, then proceeded to begin texting voraciously with his friends. I didn’t know if I should be sad or glad! In the end, I came to this same place: he needed to chill. But he wanted to be close to me. That’s pretty cool. Some days I find I’m barely breathing in moments like these for fear of breaking the spell! So nice to meet you, friend. Have a sweet day.
Cornelia, I love this post. Sometimes when I come up for air after a long project, I ask my (now adult) kids to help with things around the house. Their reply is the same, “I’m just chillin’.” Around our house we call it introvert time. Sometimes I’m so myopic that see only my need for chillin’ time without seeing the need for theirs. Thank you for the reminder to walk in their shoes a mile or two.
Hey Lynn- I love this reminder with even our adult kids – thank you for your honesty- I always think it speaks to our parenting, if our kids are honest with us about their need for down time!- As I think about friends’ houses where I enjoyed hanging out, it was where the parent were really chill and allowed my friend and me “chilling” time- thanks for reading and sharing your story!!