Published April 3, 2010 in The Oregonian’s SW Weekly-West Linn section

Taylor Wells, 17, a member of West Linn Boy Scout Troop 149, began thinking about doing his Eagle Scout project at Emmanuel Presbyterian Church a couple of years ago as a way to give back to the church where he and his family have been members since 1998.

“I wanted to give a gift to the church,” Wells said. West Linn Boy Scout builds memorial garden for church as his Eagle Scout project

He came up with the idea of a memorial garden after seeing another Eagle Scout candidate create a labyrinth at a nearby church.

Paul Quackenbush, who is co-pastor of the West Linn church with his wife, Cathy Quackenbush, said, “We looked at the church and saw an atrocious spot in the front, a fence broken, and Taylor thought of a memorial garden, and the idea grew from there.”

Groundbreaking took place the first weekend in March; work has continued each weekend, including part of spring break. Scouts, parents of Scouts and friends have put in up to 200 hours of work that has included digging out the 10-by-10-foot area, leveling it, placing pavers and planting plants.

The memorial garden is a paver patio in the shape of a cross and has native plants around it, with a fountain in the middle and three benches. Taylor raised funds for the project by selling memorial pavers, and the church helped with some of the other expenses.

Taylor’s father, Jeff Wells, assistant scoutmaster with Troop 149, said, “I am so proud of my son. He had to get in front of the church leadership a couple of times and in front of the entire church to announce what he wanted to do.”

“It is very exciting watching Taylor take on this project, and especially seeing him grow up into the man he is becoming,”

Quackenbush said, “This project is going to have a lasting effect at our church. It is absolutely lovely.”

http://www.oregonlive.com/west-linn/index.ssf/2010/04/west_linn_boy_scout_builds_memorial_garden_for_church_as_his_eagle_scout_project.html

By Cornelia Seigneur

We took our 12-year-old twins’ I-Pods away yesterday before church. Okay, I know I am sounding like the tough-love mom, but if I am  honest, my husband actually did the tough-parenting deed.

I am the one who complains to my husband about the over-use of I-Pods and other electronic devises of my kids. I talk about how I get frustrated with how they sometimes seem addicted to their I-Pods and how they hide out in their rooms with their I-Pods and how they click them in the car and in the house and at church and at school and now the final straw was they gave their 6-year-old brother their old Gameboy so now I am catching him secretively playing Gameboy.

So, I told my husband about the situation and how frustrated I was with my 6-year-old now hiding on me with his GameBoy and how he was not reading his books but instead playing electronics, so when my husband got back from his business trip to China this week, he did the tough love thing to take away the I-Pods. For good, it almost sounds like.

To see one of my 12-year-old twins almost in tears over the situation of course broke my heart but in the long run I see how addicted my kids have become to their little hand-held neon screens.

Okay, so I-Pods can be a good thing and my twins capitalize that. “Mom, there’s a Bible app I can use and get Bible verses all the time,” one of my twins tells me. As if that was reason enough to convince me to get their I-Pods last December, which we let them purchase with their own money, but it is crazy how it has taken over their lives in some ways.

I see other 11-and 12-year-olds at events with their I-Pods and cell phones, texting and surfing away, and I think it is a good time to re-think what electronics our children are using and how often. And at what ages we are letting them get used to having electronics at their disposal.

I saw another mom at my 6-year-old’s talent show last week and she mentioned how her 12 year old  has an I-Pod like my twins have (had!) and she mentioned her concern about the unlimited and un-monitored access to the internet and her concerns are real and reality and should not be overlooked.

Yet, I feel just as much a concern of the safety factor is the etiquette element of the use of hand-held electronic devices. To the point of addiction. Teaching our kids when to turn them off and when not to use them and when to not bring them along. And, as parents, we too have to be aware of etiquette with our handheld devices, i.e. our cell phones,  and we need to realize that we are setting an example for our children and we also need to realize that we are missing opportunities to talk with our children when we instead talk on our cell phones.

It’s like we need to be reminded of the reason we cell phones in the first place – for convenience. For emergencies. Let us go back to using them that way. With self-control.

And teach our kids by example.

Or, our kids will point out our etiquette—or lack thereof—while they are waiting to get their I-Pods returned to them.

Riek on the left, his cousin, brother, sister, Breezy and a neighbor at Peninsula Park after a sports camp we hosted. Riek and his cousin just returned that day from a football game they were playing in.

Last weekend when we were taking him back to his North Portland home after youth group Fusion with my twins at Rolling Hills Sunday night, he kept talking about this meeting with his new school.

“My dad’s coming home to take me to this meeting,” he announced. “I have been really good and know I will do well in this new school. It is close to my house and I can walk.” 

“But what about my meeting Monday morning?” he wondered. We called his dad and he was not sure when he would be able to come home. 

“Can your mom take you to the meeting?” I asked.

Riek’s mom does not understand very much English. She barely speaks the language yet alone understands it. She tries so hard. Riek’s family members are refugees from Sudan. They escaped persecution for being Christians and are trying to establish a life here. It is not easy. The mom, with her very broken English, has gotten two jobs over the 3 years we have known them, but she was laid off of both of them. The dad has not worked since we have known them. He says he is taking classes and trying. He has been back to Africa several times. It is hard to feed and clothe a family of of 9 on a regular income yet alone one that requires government assistance. But they work so hard at it. They are such a lovely family. We feel so blessed to be connected with them.

When I called the school to see about bringing the mom in to the meeting for Riek, they asked who I am.

“I am an advocate for them.”

Riek is in the middle next to me on the left

No, I am not with the county or the state or with social services. I am just an advocate. I care about them. They are our friends and we have known them for three years and we connected due to our faith in the Lord Jesus and we wanted to be able to assist them, to help get them established, to help them physically and emotionally and spiritually and to support them. They have come over for Easter and Christmas and we have gone to the beach together and hiking. My kids are friends with their kids. We  care. We want to help give them a break. To get them working and supporting themselves, to help the children do well in school and to get connected in church. To keep their faith in God. To grow in that relationship.

The school said it was okay if I brought the mom in, and the father had also called the school to say that would be fine. The mom told them I have been there to help them for three years and that I can be officially involved. She signed for me to be an advocate.

At the meeting today, I met another advocate for Riek, Phil Gibbs, who helped Riek at his old school. When I mentioned to Phil the church we go to (Rolling Hills), that has also helped with Riek’s family, various members and groups within the church have been supportive, the church that we have brought Riek’s family to, Phil Gibbs said he has visited our church and that he attends another Christian church. It was so neat to connect on a faith level. Phil  Gibbs cares about Riek’s family. He said he is glad I am an advocate for Riek. And then Phil Gibbs also said something that stood out to me. He said:

“Riek’s an advocate for himself.”

I live in the community of West Linn where the parents are so involved in their children’s lives and where they take care of so much for their children and where the parents are the advocates, but that is not reality everywhere and for some people survival is the only reality, and Riek is learning the hard way to be an advocate for himself and for that I commend him. It is not easy. We all eventually learn to be advocates for ourselves and some just have to learn it much earlier rather than later.

And it is not a bad lesson to learn in general. In the end, we have to learn to be advocates for ourselves, to stick up for ourselves, to follow our dreams, to make those dreams a reality. And Riek’s dream right now is to get into this school.

I shared with Phil Gibbs and the others at the school meeting about Riek’s family situation, and we talked about what an amazing family they are and how hard it is with 7 children, but that they are trying so hard to do well in school. But when life at difficult and money is tight or non-existent and the car is not working and there is no money to fix it,  there is of course added stress on children, it is about survival and no frills. It is hard enough being a child and a student in school yet alone having to play house for real.

I am praying that they do not lose heart. I am praying that we can get a larger connection of a community going for them here in the Portland area. I am praying for the kids, to never ever ever give up. Or lose heart.

And to learn how to be an advocate for themselves. As Riek did.

. . . And his dream came true. He starts in his new school tomorrow.

Maybe, due to the past quality, there is reason for the “boring” label reputation that Christian lit has. Sometimes, now I am speaking in general terms, Christian books for kids [and for adults in the past] have the reputation for being too simplistic. They too quickly spell out the moral of the story – again, just a reputation that I have heard without honestly giving them much chance.

But, to me,  a good book should have the lesson, the moral, within the context of the story and its characters and not spelled out so easily.

Some have said to me, okay, Cornelia, you write the books you want your kids to read and maybe someday…

But for now, I offer a few suggestions for ages 8-10 for now… based upon asking some Christian friends who have their kids read Christian books as well as my own research. If you  have any other ideas, by all means, write to me. I link to some websites as well for additional follow up.

Of course, lists depend on the style of books you like, mystery, biography, fantasy, etc. so this list has a combination of ideas.

I must add that I have books here that are not “Christian” per se, but have Christian values and are classics in the sense of the literary word. To me, those are every bit as important.

Here goes:

First of all is CS Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia- everyone has to read this series- read it to your younger ones then have them read it. 

Again.

Then, The Wrinkle in Time series by Madeleine L’Engle-

She is a believer and has written non-fiction for adults as well as poetry.

 Priest with Dirty Clothes by RC Sproul    [a wonderful Christian author for adults as well]

 Abel’s Island by  William Steig

 Christian Heroes: Then & Now by G Benge and Janet Benge

OTHER BOOKS –classics -

Tale of Three Trees by Angela Hunt

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Mary Poppins by P. L. Travers

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Lyman Frank Baum

 Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

The Story of Babar by Jean De Brunhoff

6

spoon, a fork and a knife, Swiss Army style, and the boy was anticipating using the multi-purpose tool at school for lunch time. 

The school thought differently and with its no-tolerance policy, they suspended the poor little first grader for 45 days and wanted to place him in a reform school.   http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,564605,00.html 

Okay, I am all about school safety but this shows the ridiculousness of a policy that addresses a one size fits all situation which is just not the case here. This is an innocent 6 year old in first grade not a criminal in need of reform school.

The 6 year old had no intention of any violence and a simple instruction to him from a teacher or administrator saying: “Please put your tool away until you get home,” would have been fine. And perhaps a phone call to Mom and Dad. Done. Finished. But instead it becomes an international news story that even made the bbc news http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8305987.stm 

My 6^th grade boys are Boy Scouts and my 18 year old son is an Eagle Scout and I believe in the Boy Scouts and I believe in boys being boys and I believe in getting boys outside to play and I believe in teaching boys and girls how to use tools correctly and to not demonize them for it.

My boys love their tools and they have each received knives for their 5^th birthdays and on vacations they have been able to get knives and we teach them how to properly use knives and there comes a time when they get to keep their knives in their rooms, when they learn responsibility. It is a coming of age thing.

My husband comes from a hunting and fishing family and hunting knives and fishing rods and knives are tools of the trade and I love the fact that my boys love the outdoors. That they can get beyond the suburban lifestyle of being driven everywhere, of neon video games and electronics and get back to nature.

Criminalizing our children for an innocent act of bringing a tool to school is ridiculous and an exaggeration of the situation. Can we use some common sense here.

I understand schools need to have policies with regards to students bringing weapons to school, but they also need to keep those policies in check with each situation and not over-react.

A 6 year old needs to learn his reading and writing and arithmetic – not be sent to reform school for –bless his heart-wanting to use his camping utensil at school.

The parents did go to the school board about the situation to talk about how crazy it is it have a one size fits all policy in place and they did act quickly to reverse the punishment, reducing his suspension to 3 days and no reform school. – http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33289924/ns/today-today_people/  He is set to go back to school  Wednesday.

I say, still too long.Let the poor kid back into school right away. And apologize to him and to his family.

The parents are working with the district to change the policy toward the kindergarten and first grade students.

So my high school son had a few friends

And I thought, we need to teach kids cell phone/texting etiquette.

My advice: Be where you are at the moment not where you wish you were. Not where you might be tomorrow. Not where you were yesterday.

I know I cannot ban cell phone use in homes. We can hint and tease, but we cannot ban. But at schools they can and it recently made the news at Clackamas High School in Clackamas Oregon. 

That’s right, Clackamas High School banned cell phone use. http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/andy_parker/index.ssf/2009/10/high_school_life_with_no_cell.html

And not just  cell phone use, but texting and even just visibility of any mobile device. If a teacher or administrator even sees a cell phone they take it away.

And the only way to get the phone back is to have mom or dad pick it up.

Have to call home? Use the land line in the office. Yes, the dinosaur connected by a wire to the wall-

Talk about the dark ages.

But what it has done at Clackamas High and other schools who have similar bans is make kids talk to one another, face to face. Wow, now that’s the dark ages.

The cell phone ban at Clackamas High is one of the changes that new school principal Matt Utterback made this year. He got the idea last year during a trip to Chicago to visit high schools that are spread over more than one campus, which will be the predicament that Clackamas High will encounter next year.  

The Clackamas High principal noticed that in the Chicago schools students were actually talking. And reading. It was a totally different culture. Sans electronic devices. Yup, no cell phones, no iPods, no headsets allowed in the Chicago schools that Matt Utterback and others from Clackamas visited.

 It is interesting to see how cell phone use by kids has gotten to a younger and younger generation. Before it was high schoolers mostly but now you see middle schoolers and younger holding up their electronic devices.

 It used to be for emergencies. For survival. To phone mom for a ride home after sports. Now, it’s to text to see what is new. And what kids are missing while watching a movie.

 I applaud Clackamas High and wish that other high schools would follow suit.

 It might get kids talking. The old fashioned way. Face to face.

So, I’ve moved down in the world –

The past five years I have been active with the high school ministry at church which I loved. High schoolers are so real and so raw and so down to earth and I have enjoyed hanging with my two older children’s youth groups and leading a discipleship group and helping organize mission trip fundraisers and mission trips.

I have been involved with youth ministry off and on for 25 y ears. Since I became a believer in high school, I had told God that I would be willing to reach out to youth to help them in that journey and I have had that opportunity these years. Helping college age through Campus Crusade for Christ, helping high school and junior high youth through my youth ministry leadership position just out of college, to other volunteer positions these past years.

One of the things that my husband and I have liked to do is be involved with our children where they are at. And having a large family means divide and conquer, so these past years I have committed to high school ministry and my husband had done the Awanas for our younger children.

Now that our older kids are finished with high school and moving on (I still cannot believe it), I am moving down to the junior high group, http://www.678live.com/  As is my husband. He is still helping with Awana and boy scouts and I have my other areas of ministry, but related to youth group, I sure enjoyed our first week of junior high group. It was an introduction night and since we are on the welcome team, there was not a lot to do for me, so I got out my camera and shot photographs and that now will be one of my roles. Capturing the kids in action with their leaders at Fusion.

My 6^th grade twins are so excited to be a part of the youth group at Rolling Hills. They were in a discipleship group last summer and they went to outdoor movie night and bible study and got to know the staff and the kids and they want to grow.

I am loving moving to the junior high school youth group to help there. I love this age. The students are so excited about life and so innocent and so willing to learn and so eager to learn and so willing to try new things and they mostly just try to be a part of something and grow without all the tangles that high school sometimes has. They are willing to have fun and be crazy and just be. They are so eager to take God at His word and I hope and pray they stay that way and I believe God that He can and will protect their hearts and I see the heart of the youth ministry staff and their desire to come alongside families to partner with them, to raise this generation of youth. There has been so much more of an emphasis on discipleship this year at our church and it stems from Pastor Dale Ebel and it is expanding into all of the areas of our church including the youth, which I feel is so vital. Parents need to be discipling their children and it is neat to see the youth group emphasizing this.

The honesty and sweetness of junior high schoolers is exemplifed in an example of one of my twins coming home to tell me what happened at school. He was listening to his teacher talk about evolution and how we were evolved and he said to the girl sitting next to him, I don’t believe that this happened this way. It is only a theory. I believe that God created people and the earth and he asked the girl what she believed and she said she agreed with him.

I love this age. Sweet junior high age.